Stupid Skymall Products

Anyone who has flown commercially should have some point noticed the Sky Mall magazine located in their seat-back pockets. If not, one should take the time next their in a plane to check out some of the odd-ball and absurd products they offer within their margins. Travelling back from Utah, we got a good selection of them.

I didn't find this one as funny as others. This is the Firefly Survival Poncho, a jacket that "could literally save the lives of you and your family members," according to the description. It can withstand temperatures up to 1650°F, so no worries, except that you'd be dead at that temperature. The cost? $99.99. The picture in the magazine has the poncho superimposed over an intense forest fire, make it look like some modernized grim reaper.

Sky Mall also has its assortment of corny Holiday products, like this snap-on Snowman Lampost Cover. I'm still not sure whether this is a Winter decoration or a Halloween decoration. Either way, if I put this up in my neighborhood, the neighbors would come over with flamethrowers and burn it. We have high aesthetic standards in my neighborhood.

Sky Mall's decorations do not stop at Holiday, however. They also make a mailbox designed for long term mail storage, (2 weeks, by their claim.) The Step2 StoreMore Mailbox is made of a “Realistic-looking ‘stone’ column.” Note that the word "stone" is in quotes—it is very realistic plastic, but not stone. As with the snowman, this would note sit well with the neighbors.

A large part of Sky Mall's business is convincing people to fill a need they never knew they had. They offered several devices for alerting you when to stop backing up in the garage. You could pay thirty bucks or so, or you could just hang a soft weight from the ceiling, and stop when you see it move. One of their offerings is a cereal dispenser called Breakfix. For only $79.99, one can be spared the incredible agony of having to pour cereal from a plain plastic container, and having to measure out the portions yourself. I didn't find this all that funny until I saw the movie they posted on their website. Look at how annoyed the kids look at being in such a stupid commercial. Though I like the sound the things makes; it would entertain me for about ten seconds.

All of these products seem quite sensible when you compare them to the mother of all toilet-paper-roll-holders/iPod docks, the iCarta:

Woah. Somebody must be spending a lot of time on toilet. Poor guy.